Monday, February 16, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
Two days ago, I quit my job at Facebook. What's that? You didn't know I worked for Facebook? Well, I did. And you probably do, too.
I didn't really quit, I'm just taking an undetermined amount of time off. My account still exists, but I set all my preferences to NOT send me emails and I deleted the Facebook button from my homepage. And I minimized the iGoogle application and put it where I can't see it.
It's been quiet around here. My email in-box is pretty sparse. My internet life is pretty boring now. I mean look at me...I'm blogging! I was just thinking, as I brushed my teeth for bed (wellll before 1am) that it feels like Facebook is a job; and I keep checking to see if the boss has some more work for me, and he doesn't. So I raise my eyebrows, shrug my shoulders, say "hmph?" and then I turn around and see what else there is to do. Whatever shall I do with this time? And by golly, there are children to feed and bathe. Diapers to wash. Laundry to fold. I cleaned and rearranged my pantry using some cool metal baskets I scored from next to somebody's trash today. (I love having organized storage. Come over to our house and the kids will show you their art... I will show you my closets!) I have two or three unfinished murals on various walls around my house. I feel like I could... like I could.... finish something! Maybe train for a marathon! Earn a degree! I feel so liberated!!
So friends, no more lying. My problem is not that I "just had a baby" or that it's gloomy and gray and cold, or that keeping up with 5 kids is soooooo haaaaard! No... I've been spending embarassing amounts of time doing a whole lotta nothing on the computer, hardly being present in my real life and when I am, I think about what I'm doing as a third person status report. What has happened to my brain?! I feel like I've been living in a George Orwell book.
(Please understand that I'm a notorious exaggerator. My brain is on auto-caracature; it's one of my secret quirks. Take it with a grain of salt, people.)
So this is my experiment: to see what happens when I let it go. Inevitably, freedom. You can't see it from the inside...but here I am, squinting, blinking in the daylight...