Historic Oysterville

As a trade for 7 hours of mural painting, I got to take my family to a beach house in Oysterville, WA, where I spent two days cooking Morgen's favorite foods and making birthday cake and cleaning and....

Wait. I never saw the beach! It's a good thing I find deep fulfillment in serving my family, because that was a lot of work. I'll stop talking now and just show you some photos, because I'm starting to feel like I need a vacation.

1854: Abraham Lincoln is President. Henry David Thoreau publishes Walden. And a little town perfect for harvesting oysters is founded.

1892: Basketball becomes an official competitive sport and Grover Cleveland is elected President.
I'll bet he ate oysters.

Only next to the sea would a moss so pretty grow to cover everything with it's soft and dreamy veil.

Them's a lot of oyster shells.

And a little trip to Jack's Country Store for some birthday ice cream. They have pretty much anything you might need in a pinch, and cool, retro candy and gum, like Clove and Black Jack. I got some Dots to put on Morgen's cake...I've never been much of a candy eater, but what's with candy buttons? What a dumb candy. Pretty, but dumb. Let's just say we ate a lot of paper.

We decided to visit this old cemetery to see what history we could find there.

Have some time on your hands? You could research why Chief Nahcati was buried in the Oysterille Cemetery instead of in Nahcotta. Maybe Nahcotta came after 1864.

I love this: boulder as headstone. This is what I want. After my viking funeral. Somebody notarize that.

And then, because my kids absolutely love the potential of a ghost story, we had to stop on the way out and take a photo of this "not-in-Kansas-anymore" house. They made up all kinds of stories about it's history and we quickly sped away when they could've sworn they saw someone behind the curtains:

Oooo, spooky!!

Coming up next: Morgen's 8th birthday and a day at the beach!

That's It, I Give Up. (Okay, maybe not...)

Um... hey. How's it goin'?

I've been purposely not-prioritizing showing up here because I feel like my last post needed a proper follow-up. When you put your hopes out there on the internet and things go so terribly different, as I see it you have three options:
1) Shut it down and pretend it never happened.
2) Keep up a facade that your character consists only of sugar and spice and everything nice
3) You can tell the ugly truth and move on.

To complicate blogging motivation, I also have this irrational fear that if I put anything sweet and lovely out into the interwebs, that someone will perceive me as ...well, sweet and lovely, perpetuating the "perfect mom" myth. Gross. I want no part in such fallacy. Plus, I am no good at hiding my faults. If I put on make-up, I will have a booger on my face. If I put on a white shirt, I will immediately spill coffee on it. I'm much safer being proudly broken, bathing in grace!

So all I remember about that day-- the one where I was so pumped up to speak words that heal to my children, the one where I even prayed for God to set a guard over my mouth-- was that a couple of hours into it, something gurgled up inside of me, zero-to-sixty from nowhere at all, and flew out of my mouth so fast that I didn't even know it was happening. Are you ready for this? I screamed F----YOU! at my daughter. [Gasp! Shock! Horror!]

That doesn't mean I shouldn't have written that post. It encouraged at least one person, and it's a reminder to me as well. I am better for having written that down, making it more a part of me. But just in case you have ever let swords and daggers and dragon breath fly out of your mouth instead of rainbows, hearts and unicorn farts (that one was for the 10-year old) I want to be the one to tell you that you're not alone...and, it SUCKS! It sucks that I did that, that I get so uptight and furious and stressed out and let #$%^@* fly out of my mouth!

"It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.
I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?" --ro. 7.21-24 the message

So what are we to do? It's discouraging.

But wait; I remember one more thing about that day. An apology. A humiliating admittance of defeat on a day that started off with such good intentions. The healing of relationship between mother and daughter. In the end, the answer to the question is that it is me who has to accept the hand of Jesus, me who has to let grace lift me off the ground, then dust myself off and trudge onward, red-cheeked and humbled.

Even when I don't know where I'm going next...

Readers: Have you experienced grace in Parenting? Care to share in the comments?

Under the Sea

This month I had a ridiculously awesome offer given to me by Milagros Boutique (the best mama & baby boutique in P-town, baby!): to re-paint their play area! Welllll.... alls I do is sit around dreaming up crazy murals in my own house (the baby's room is East-coast sand dunes, and there's a half-finished stork in our hall (for about 3+ years now). See?) so this was a no-brainer!

I took Taylor with me and all the paint I could find. A few sketches and almost 7 hours later (woah, that's like...a workday!) and we've got an underwater adventure!

At the last minute I found gold paint in my stash,
so I had to add some bling to the mermaid's attire.

This guy looks like he's going to open up any second and offer you a pearl!

 This was so incredibly fun! I loved taking Taylor with me. He primed with me and helped with some larger color blocks, but mostly he just kept me company, washed brushes, ran errands. He was my excuse to get dessert from the French restaurant next door. It was so LIFE-giving to me to paint like this, and I haven't painted in acrylics, much less painted at all since I got my job as a MOM....you know how it goes. Well, maybe you don't. Maybe you have had a well-rounded life of fulfilling your potential. But for me, this is a walking-in-the-right-direction, and it feels great! The best part is that I got to trade for time at their beach house. More on that to come....

Meanwhile, maybe it's time I finished that stork.

First Day of School 2011/12

Did you know? Four out of five kids are in full-day school these days!

7th, 5th, 2nd and 1st...whoo-whee! That's a lot of school supplies!

Just for comparison, here's a picture from last year:

 Aww, look at my little buzzed buddies.

Noble can't get used to this full day of school for Micah.

Every day around lunch he asks me, "where Mah-cah?"

 He's in school with his little Waldorf lunch basket!

Micah's excited about his big-kid desk, I think.

 It's all old-hat to Morgen now. She's excited that her desk has a little cubby for her crayon pouch and stuff. Stuff like balls of wax and little sticks and pebbles. She's a collector.

 Here's me distracting my hyper little monkey while we wait for the 1st grade Rose Ceremony to begin. The Waldorf Tradition does this to welcome the 1st graders into the Grades, as opposed to having a Kindergarten Graduation at the end of last year.

 Micah hands me his rose as he is escorted back to his classroom by an 8th-grade buddy. The 8th graders participate as leaders in the school, as this will be their last year here.

"Been there, done that!" Morgen's just happy as a clam today!

Have fun at school, guys! Like Papa used to say to me, "Learn lots of things today!"

Words

It's almost 8am and no one is awake! Except me, of course. Is it because I want everyone to get back on a school-schedule? We would have to be leaving the house by now. Is it because David is taking a personal day to work on the attic dormer, and he's still in bed, too? Even though he sneaks away every morning, the house seems to have an unsettling when he's gone, and the children never sleep in very long after he leaves. I could leave and come back at noon and those beds will still be warm!

My reader seems to be carrying a theme this morning, and when life throws me a theme, I figure I'd better listen up. Today's theme is: WORDS.

Grace words.
Words that heal.
Words that make children feel strong.
Words that give thanks.
Words that give life!

Because words can bring death. I have brought more death than life with my words in my lifetime, I am sure of it.  If you have been the recipient of my death-words, please forgive me. I know I am learning to keep quiet when I am tired and hurt and my tongue wants to barf out all kinds of maladies, but I still have a long way to go!

Today I am printing out (and I mean by hand! We don't have a printer, lol!) Ann Voskamp's Manifesto for Joyful Parenting. What a good thing to move towards as the harried, early school mornings quickly approach!
And today I am praying,

"Set a guard over my mouth, Lord. Keep watch over the door of my lips!"

Speak well, today!

Thirty-eight

David lucks out with a birthday in August, when the weather's nice and we're all ready for some fun, and no one else is stealing your birthday thunder (everyone else in our family is two weeks from someone else). And what's more, my parents were visiting this August, and got to celebrate with us! (I am ashamed to say that these are the best photos I have of them on their visit. My photographic priorities are defunct!)

Papa says, "it looks like I have ice-cream on my lip!"

I don't have pictures of the hilarity, but we went bowling/video game playing at Big Al's. That place is a ton of fun. I fulfilled a life-long dream of being on Wheel of Fortune, and Noble spent the entire time standing on some driving game that took your photo. Morgen and Micah were in an air-hockey playoff and Taylor and Korah were doing their own thing, which has something to do with pooling their resources to end up with the biggest bag o' loot from the prize counter. Dave played Rockband. For like, an hour. So basically, we all got what we wanted for Dave's birthday.

We came home and had ice cream cake made by yours truly (awesome, that job at Baskin Robbins is still paying off!) and quick-like I made a card, since I didn't have a real birthday gift:

it's all meaningful and symbolic to us, and stuff

Actually, David worked hard to get his own killer birthday present this year, painstakingly dialing his phone, digit after digit, until at last.... HE WON TICKETS TO THE DECEMBERISTS from Kink.fm! And a gift certificate to Ringside Fish House! This guy knows how to win 'em!

"...and I'm reaping all the benefits..."
(name that movie)

I liked the Decemberists before, but now....oh, live music, it's what you do to me... now we are FANS. This was a special show for a few reasons:

• It was the last show of the tour. There seemed to be a goofy energy that came with that....so fun!
• Since they are from the Portland area, it was a homecoming of sorts and they had tons of family, friends, local fanship and familiar McMenamins Brews to celebrate.
• Their beautiful keyboardist Jenny Conlee, who missed the tour to stay home and fight breast cancer, was performing in all her bald-headed, Doc-Martined glory! Yay, Jenny!!

We are undeniably blessed. As crazy and chaotic as our life can be, good things just keep on happening, and we have to make note, make note, make note: we are loved.

HAPPY 38th BIRTHDAY, DAVID! YOU ARE LOVED!

Gnocchi at Sunset

A Poem for Febe

I close my eyes and try
to make the traffic sound
like waves. The games of kids
pretending is the same,

Without the element
of magic that comes from
friends
and salty air

And gnocchi-making to
a rainbow sunset.
The gift of respite, on
the job, was burned into

My senses with the smell
of bubbles in the bath,
the ocean rolling in,
the blue and orange and gold.

Inspiring me to try
a poem with my hands,
to keep on making art
with my whole life.

Your laugh is balm to my
encumbered spirit and
so glad am I that you
are my friend, mi amiga.

GF Cinnamon Rolls

Gluten-Free Cinnamon Rolls with Creme-Fraiche Icing

I used to be all like, "omigosh cinnamon rolls are my favorite food!" and then we went all gluten-freek and I felt so much better I just kinda wrote off bread altogether. Plus, you know, you can't be eating cinnamon rolls if you are even the slightest bit interested in losing 10 years worth of baby weight...

Anyway, the other day I happened to have this bag of cinnamon-sugar laying around from a donut project I did with the kids at church, and I didn't want to just throw it away. It seemed to me that an attempt at gluten-free cinnamon rolls was the obvious and inevitable solution. In haste I googled "gluten-free cinnamon rolls" and perused a few recipes, but ended up at one of my staple websites for all things GF, Gluten-free Girl and the Chef.

I love that Shauna uses weight to measure her flours, and she explains why on her very informative blog. I'm mostly excited for a chance to weigh stuff on my cute little kitchen scale! For this recipe we substituted the Bob's Red Mill GF All Purpose Baking Flour, because we didn't have almond flour and we are avoiding corn for sensitivity issues. The rest was pretty easy, but it takes all day with mixing, rising, rolling, filling, rolling, rising again, interspersed with going to the park for lunch, doing 4 loads of laundry, cleaning rooms, putting the baby down for a nap, drawing a comic strip and giving the dog a walk. Luckily, Taylor was helping...cooking (and all that life-living!) is always more fun with a little buddy.

I also happened to have a bag of powdered sugar from the same donut project. This sealed the cinnamon roll idea because powdered sugar, when it's not being sprinkled on Aebleskivers or donuts, is begging to be made into icing!* And get this: I didn't have any cream cheese on hand, but I just so happened to have some Creme Fraiche. Three cheers for Creme Fraiche! ...OOO! ...LA! ...LA!

Well, not so accidental on the Creme Fraiche. I'm going to muster another attempt at a home-made mac'n'cheese that Morgen (the Mac'n'Cheese snob of the family) will approve of.

Lots of amazing smells later, this is what we (literally) ate for dinner last night:

The recipe made fourteeen delicious cinnamon rolls. Enough for everyone to have one for breakfast the next day! I would love a softer, squishier dough, but they were pretty good. I might be more about the sugar these days anyway... mmm-mmmm!


*I know I just mentioned a corn-sensitivity and then said we were making icing from powdered sugar, which has cornstarch in it! It's more of a thing we avoid unless we must. eat. icing. If you know of a powdered sugar that is not made with cornstarch (there must be something out there???) please let me know!